“My name is kasper de Jonge. I’m a BI specialist from the Netherlands. I play hoops all my life and I never lose. Soon I play PowerPivotPro, and the world will see his defeat.”
Yeah folks, you’ve probably all seen Kasper’s guest posts. But have you heard his voice? As I’ve said many times, he doesn’t exactly sound like a computer nerd – he sounds more like the creation of some Soviet lab, leftover from the Cold War.
And he plays basketball.
That’s right. It’s not enough for Kasper to jump right into PowerPivot and subvert that beautiful American creation for nefarious Continental purposes (ok, actually, the PowerPivot team is at least 50% international in its makeup, but please, let’s not let facts get in the way of trash talk).
No, he also has to try to take our basketball from us, too.
Well, I can’t let him do that. Someone has to take a stand.
I recently got word that Kasper will be attending TechEd / MS BI Conference in New Orleans next month. I issued a challenge. He accepted. A one on one basketball game to set the world on its proper course. Our representatives are busily negotiating the rules.
Kasper plays hoops all the time. Coaches a women’s team. Watches NBA games at odd hours via what can only be black market means. He is the modern basketball equivalent of Ivan Drago. He is a machine. He’s about 2-3 inches taller than me – imprecise because it’s so hard to get data from behind the Iron Curtain I guess.
So maybe it’s time for me to get in shape, huh? I haven’t played hoops in ten years. I’m about 30 pounds heavier than I’d like to be. And my hoops shoes… well, I bought those in 1996 and they still have tread on them.
So this weekend I began my training. I found the biggest dude I know, my friend Mike, and we played a series of one on one games. It was ugly – Mike’s taller than me, outweighs me by 60 pounds, and is all around just far more athletic. I was lucky to steal one game from him, while he annihilated me three times.
Afterwards, we still had enough breath in us to role-play The Ugly Americans:
You two look like the detroit bad boys going to work, remember how that worked out in the end ? And do i need to remind you how the world cup 2006 ended for the US?
Better tie up those ankle braces before the game before you break em defending my euro 2 step
hysterical!…hope this will be broadcast live for the 10 people in the world who really care about this.
yeah GO Kasper !! Show them what we’re Dutch are made off !
(Live broadcast would be very appreciated indeed
Holy cow, there are Dutch fans weighing in on Kasper’s side?
Hmm… we may have to record this event for historical purposes. Not sure that we have the resources for live… and honestly, some degree of editing may serve my purposes…
But yeah, either way, we need a camera operator. Anyone attending the conference want to volunteer?
Would love to see this live
Go Kasper (mister pro I would start hiring a few “American replies” so it seems as if you have supporters
)
Anyway, have fun @ the BI conf.
Hello can I quote some of the material from this blog if I provide a link back to your site?
Yes, thx for checking. Send me a link too